Remember the haughty days of Bill, the Wonder Kid? He burst onto the national scene in 1992 with a catchy campaign song, “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow” and a contagious campaign slogan; “it’s the economy, stupid.” His triumph over the elder Bush signaled to the world that the baby-boomers had taken a “long walk through American institutions” and had at last seized the presidency of the United States. In those days, Bill and Hillary had the slickest, fastest, meanest campaign team the nation had ever seen.

Today, the Clinton campaign for the Democratic nomination has consisted of one long series of bungles: the sheen is gone. The Clintons look old, tired, boring—like the playboys of yesteryear: they were flashy when they had youth and beauty; but are rather pathetic as they slip into old age.

What is Hillary’s campaign song? No one knows. What is her campaign slogan? No one cares.

Hillary began this bid for the presidency with the steely resolve of a woman scorned. Indeed, Bill had humiliated her publicly in the White House unlike any other First Lady in the history of this nation; nonetheless she decided she was going to get her just reward for putting up with him. In sharp contrast to the impulse of the vast majority of sound-thinking American females, she decided she would stay married to her adulterous husband and she would try to become the first female president of the United States. Her campaign, from the outset, seemed more about resolving her own personal demons than serving America.

She amassed a formidable war chest, built a network of contacts and crafted a Senate record that was manufactured to establish credibility with liberals while nonetheless appealing to a broader audience in anticipation of a general election. This was a colossal error: principled liberals were restless, looking for an authentic reflection of their aspirations not an artificial campaign concoction. This poll-driven Hillary was most apparent in her vote for the Iraq war: she refused to recant it while at the same time she promised to bring the troops home. There was far too much nuance here to satisfy any literate Democrat in America.

Who was Hillary during the campaign? At first she was the inevitable Iron Lady who could stand on her own and could even humor Obama with a few kind words. Then, she morphed into Hillary the Nasty which sought to leak dirt on Obama to the press—including references to his Muslim heritage and his past drug use. When Obama stood tall in the face of this onslaught and defied her to unload all the information she had on him—and the press closed ranks with him—another Hillary emerged. Hillary the Ruthless turned into Hillary the Victim of Men: she did a little whining and pleading after all the candidates challenged her during a debate in October; she tried to play the Gender Card. But Obama won Iowa anyway.

Hillary the Victim of Men turned to the most abusive man in her life, Bill, for help out of this predicament.  However, during this interval, Bill, the Wonder Kid, had turned into Bill-Get-Him-Off-Stage-And-Shut-Him-Up-Before-He-Blows-This-Sky-High. As Bill tried to rough up the media by pointing his finger and turning blood-red, Hillary tried to show America that she has a “Soft Side.” Once we all gave witness to the fact that Hillary has a mother, a daughter, old friends (i.e. part of the human race), Hillary the Soft became Hillary the Crier. A few tears were shed—perhaps in sheer desperation or confusion. Hillary won New Hampshire and declared she had at last found “her voice.”

Hillary With The Voice, however, suddenly disappeared. The Look At Me At All Times Bill went on a rampage—including casting baseless accusations at Obama regarding campaign malpractices in Nevada. Bill then slipped into a psychedelic phase in South Carolina (perhaps it was his, rather than Obama’s past drug use which proved fatal in this campaign) in which he tried to start a Race War within his own party by attempting to peg Obama as the “black candidate.” Bill, an impeached and disbarred ex-president without much of a legacy, at last established a legacy: he is the first, white “black president” who tried to sabotage the nation’s first black presidential nominee by pitting whites and Hispanics against an affable black man. Well done. Talk about not knowing when to hang up your cleats.

Obama retorted with Super Tuesday: he denied the crown to Hillary and showed that it is he, rather than Hillary, who has the most diverse voter base. As he ceased to be the black candidate, Hillary became the Hispanic candidate.

Hillary Without the Voice became so tongue-tied she could not even congratulate Obama on his crushing string of eleven consecutive victories. But, Hillary the Experienced still knows not to reveal her White House records when she was First Lady or her current tax returns. Hillary has the correct timing to contribute $5 million dollars of her own money to her sinking campaign and to fire her campaign manager: she has “experience to bring about change.” Now we see how it works.

Hillary the Experienced to Bring About Change also knows when to change her mind in the most glaring, shameless manner. She pledged to abide by the DNC’s ruling on Michigan and Florida—but that was before Obama denied her a Democratic coronation. Hillary subsequently declared she would seek to seat those delegates. Hillary The Substantive also insisted her campaign was not based merely on “words;” hence she challenged Obama to countless more debates; that is, to pit her words against his words. In the CNN Texas debate she accused Obama of “plagiarism,” only to veer course minutes later to shake his hand, declare that she is “honored” to be in the same race with him. And she concluded by copying—or “plagiarizing”— Edwards’s oft-spoken words that all the candidates would be “fine” regardless of the outcome of the campaign.

In the 1990’s when Bill was lionized by the press as a brilliant politician, Hillary was constantly ridiculed for her incessant hair-style changes. Little did we know then that this belied a larger, deeper problem: Hillary simply does not know who she is or what she seeks to achieve. This campaign will therefore be remembered as Hillary’s Identity Crisis.

But then again, her performance will not be remembered much.

In the 1992 campaign there was a key incident during a debate when the elder Bush looked at his watch. Many pundits later viewed this as the moment when he lost re-election: Bill masterfully used the incident to peg Bush as aloof and uncaring.

In 2008, there is not one single moment which marked the unraveling of this campaign: it came in increments. Yet, at this point, when Hillary speaks, it is we who are counting time. The Clintons had their day in the sun; they are now clinging to the past. Their campaign has turned into a cheap re-run of a late night comedy show with stars who used to have real talent.

-Grace Vuoto is the Executive Director of the Edmund Burke Institute for American Renewal. The opinions in this article are her own.